Back in the day i wrote a list of the ideal woman i wanted (pretty sure this came about while procrastinating but that’s another story). She had to be beautiful, able to cook, funny and the list goes on and on. I came across this list the other week and had a good laugh at some of the things i wanted which clearly spelt ‘Dreamland’. Funny enough, of the 20 odd points i noted down a solid 12 or so still apply today. Have i stayed that much the same person now as i was as a 17 year old? Or something horribly went wrong and didnt happen over the years maybe? Not really, some were quite valid!

I began to take stock of where i have been and how i have changed in the last few years. Damn! I made some vital mistakes, many of which i could have, or rather, should have avoided. Sometimes you must learn the hard way. We can all agree kuti whatever you look for in a partner changes with time as you grow older, whether you are aware of this or not. And how many times have you come out of a relationship to ask yourself, ‘WTF was i thinking?!’. Life does that to us sometimes, some a bit more than others. I admit a period when simping just about found a permanent dwelling in me and i sunk into the deepest depths of unhappiness. For all the brothers out there who have had the unfortunate pleasure of this experience, we all know that it can break a man. Ladies, with all due respect, i DO NOT underestimate the powers of destruction you possess. As good as some of you are (and instrumental) in making a man realise his potential, others are just as gifted in handing out skirts to brothers they’ve single handedly detatched manhood from. You know the type that can make a man doubt himself and what he stands for… yea, them.

I don’t know about other dudes but i really won’t go blaming exs for my residence in Simpville even though they can go and hang for all i care. I kinda messed up on my own. With each assessment it worked out to simple math. Compromising standards = higher probablity of disaster. In a few months of madness i actually decided to go for someone i was really not attracted to because i thought since she wasn’t all that I’d make it right to the centre of her affection and consume her day to day mentals, chances being not many other dudes would be interested in her anyway. How naiive was i?! HUGE MISTAKE coz i copped a serious L. I found out she was passing out her person like they used to hand out free condoms at soccer matches kuNational Sports Stadium in the 90s. She was as fake as the hair on her head. Epic fail. To be fair i guess i was really selfish in my intentions anyway so maybe i deserved it. Lesson learnt though. To quote an ex of some random dude, “There is nothing worse than being cheated on by an ugly person, so it is best to avoid dating them.” It may sound harsh but co friggin siggady to that!!!

There is a huge difference between widening the net and lowering your standards. Avoid the latter like a plague. How i even got to the level of forgetting about myself, only the ground knows. The point here is that, if you have reasonable standards never compromise them. It’s not worth it and without foresight it seems like the best way to combat loneliness yet in the long run it’s your heart that takes a serious battering. Standards are there to serve as a guideline to what you would value in a person you would want to spend the rest of your forever with i.e for your own good! I don’t really envy any single people out there but in this case it’s far better to be alone and happy than with someone and depressed.