I cant remember the amount of times I see a woman with visibly horrible makeup yet her friends act like ‘all is well’. Hutsinye. I would never let my homeboy look dodgy in my presence lest i be judged as a bird of the same feather saka sometimes we just have to help each other as homies and here is my list of improvements for my fellow Zimbo guys out there to follow in 2012. This list is in part because I am sick and tired of our ladies saying statements like’Zim guys are not as well groomed as other Africans like Naijas’ or ‘Zim guys cannot dress well’ or “Zim guys are lazy around the house vakangwarira bhora chete’. SICK AND TIRED. We can improve and I refuse to concede to the Ogas or anyone else for that matter especially when it comes to handling ourselves well. I task every dude to make at least 1 change on this list if it applies to them. WHY NOT?
For starters, male grooming definitely exists and though emphasis was never placed tichikura, that is no excuse to ignore the essential benefits not only for us as men but for those around us.
In the words of Buffalo Souljah, proper male grooming istyra inonyengesa!
This particular list was adapted from the #BoysDzangu hashtag on Twitter from about 2 weeks ago. Hanzi zano marairanwa guys. Batai nepapa:
1. Having a 6 pack is not a necessity by any means but being in good shape and taking care of your body is. Let’s say goodbye to potbellies, beer bellies, bellies. Get in shape and keep fit at least.
2. Looking good is NOT only for special occasions. No compromise.
3. Learn simple but good habits like picking up after yourself; hembe, food, everything. Besides being responsible enough, those that are in your space will appreciate that greatly.
4. Looking, dressing and being grown and proper is not only limited to job interviews. You are who you portray wherever you are. No excuses.
5. Your hair needs attention too so shampoo and conditioner will do. This is pure cleanliness issues and kugeza is for EVERY part of your body.
6. Shaving armpits is not only limited to females. Veet hainyanyodhura zvayo , it’s not that expensive for something you use once in a while. Please buy some and use it.
7. Why not try mamwe mafuta other than Vaseline? Some wonderful male body products out there and they cover just about all price ranges.
8. Know the link between your bank balance and lifestyle yako. Usambonyara, be confident in being YOU and on that note don’t overstretch your abilities in order to impress a girl. One thing good women know how to do is judge a guy for who he really is. The rest are just ‘game’.
9. Nyaya yekuisa underwear muWashing machine ngaipere. Those things zvinoda kuwachwa nomazvo honestly. Some things need your personal TLC.
10. Usamirire kuti madam ichaMaker bed maksen. KuBoarding waiMaker bed sei? Nokuti kwanga kunaBoarding master? Help around the house with seemingly small things and/or those you normally leave for ‘the woman to do’. It will come back ten fold.
11. Ngatifarire kuita washen > Ende washen sandi hembe chete, kana magumbeze nemaSheets chero pillow case dzinowachwa. This one is a must because you and where you live should be at 100% as much as possible. It’s not easy but it’s possible.
12. Nyangwe mota yako iri skoroskoro igeze mukati nekunze. Huchapa hauna excuse because imota. This is another part of you that reflects who you are. I personally do not like riding in a dirty car, inside or out.
13. Carry around a packet of Mentos or Airwaves or Tic Tacs JUST IN CASE. You never know. Call this insurance.
14. Dressing well goes beyond oversize G-Unit t-shirts, Skinny jeans, High tops, YMCMB caps etc. Be diverse when you dress. Unonyenga more nazvo.
15. In that regard, also kindly dress zvinekodzero neAge yako futi. If you are grown please stay away from such fashion disasters that include durags, flat rim baseball caps, ice hockey jerseys etc Ask for help if you need to. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME, PLEASE.
16. Have a hair style/cut that goes with your age please. Corn rows at 38 because ‘Beckham akambozviita’ is a bad look. A very bad look especially if you want to be taken seriously.
17. Money permitting please buy a proper fragrance AND ROLL ON. Summer or winter, these 2 are not to be taken for granted. Besides that we all would appreciate it, women absolutely love it when a guy smells good and those are automatic brownie points.
18. When it comes to deodorants and fragrances: DO NOT SPRAY ON DEO IF YOU HAVE NOT TAKEN A BATH AND JUST WASHED YOUR FACE. Haisi fresh. DO NOT SPRAY ON DEO on special occasions only e.g because uri kuenda kunoona chimoko. Isa every day!!!
I’m not quite a fan of new year resolutions but the new year is a good opportunity to make some significant changes in your life.
Let’s make 2012 count.